The tools of the do-it-yourself surgeon vary in sharpness. Some glint in just that light, and cut in their fashion, but how deeply or cleanly only the scar will tell.
And it surprises, the ooze I mean, and yes, the stench. Is that me? I expected something more or perhaps different from the excavation of this interior.
Worse, once extracted not all the giblets fit back into the cavity. What to do about the extra bits? There really is no suitable stewpot.
Of course, the news stays private, so no flowers adorn the recuperation.
If there is a next time, it may be best to seek a second opinion or a Highlands malt, cask-aged and served neat. Leave the scalpel on the tray.